School Run Outfit 9 July 2013: breaking ALL the rules!

First, YES, that is one crazy-ass hat.  Seussian, even.  Have I not mentioned my crazy sunhat collection? I wear it because: 1) I am part vampire, 2) sunlight exacerbates my rosacea, 3) I’m flat-out nuts, and 4) it makes it very easy for any number of small children to spot me in a crowded schoolyard, thus limiting my need to scream or hunt them.

So…. today’s outfit illustrates a couple of  important concepts I’ll be covering in the companion blog piece on clothing proportions:

Photo on 09-07-2013 at 16.01 #3

1) Pair voluminous with fitted.

2) Sometimes it’s best to wear loose things over your smallest parts and tight things on your biggest parts.

Part 1 will be covered in the companion piece, but suffice it to say that wearing baggy clothes all over can make you look like a bag-lady. Similarly, wearing tight clothes all over can make you look like you belong on a street corner… for other reasons.

Part 2 is often difficult to explain, and comprehend, because it is counter-intuitive.  Being a classic pear-shape, I look best in A-line skirts with fitted tops and a belt to emphasize my small waist.

So how is it possible for me to look good wearing a baggy, shapeless top that completely hides my waist, and a tight skirt on my lower half?

The answer is proportions.  This works because my bottom half looks smaller in comparison to the bright, voluminous top half.  By making my top half look bigger, I’ve made my butt look smaller (also notice that I’ve covered my hideous knees, and the tightness of the skirt draws the eye down to the narrowness at the knee).

The top is also a very sheer silk chiffon.  In person, you can see the outline of my slimmer upper half through the top, and in the slightest breeze it clings and drapes around me.  In other words, it’s clear that I’m not hiding any major issues under there.

I’m breaking another rule by wearing shoes which don’t match either the skirt or my legs.  My legs are quite long, and the length of the skirt emphasizes this.  So instead of choosing to further lengthen my legs with skin-tone platforms, today I’m wearing cute T-strap embroidered espadrilles which call attention to my small ankles.

So, if you understand your body proportions, you can use CLOTHING proportions to your advantage, giving yourself more options.  I’d be terribly bored of wearing nothing but A-line dresses if this weren’t the case.

Outfit details: Yellow sunglasses from Primark.  Yellow-dipped hoop earrings from New Look.  Silk-chiffon caftan by Matthew Williamson for H&M.  Grey jersey pencil skirt from  Beloved hummingbird-embroidered espadrilles from Shelley’s (purchased for £12 in the sale 8 years ago and held together with shoe goo).

Photo on 09-07-2013 at 16.02 #2


ridiculous hat purchased at a tiny boutique in the ancient town of Rye, England.  It has flexible wires throughout the stripes to it can be bent into almost any shape.  It also has VERY sexy straps for tying under the chin.

Screw that whole “when I’m an old lady, I will wear a purple hat” crap.  I’m 42.  By the time I’m 80, I’ll be wearing headdresses that would make Cleopatra blush.

Life’s too short, baby!  Don’t take yourself so seriously!


on “School Run Outfit 9 July 2013: breaking ALL the rules!
7 Comments on “School Run Outfit 9 July 2013: breaking ALL the rules!
  1. Pingback: » Prop-or-tioooooons! - Dana Forlano

    • I’ll add that to my queue! The quick answer is to wear tops that have deep plunging V-necks (with a tank top underneath, obviously) or ones which are fitted just under the bust. Which will look best depends on the rest of your body.

      I’m going to have to find some willing models with these body types… or do it myself in a heavily padded bra? That would be funny, right?

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